You Just Neva’ Know – Week 12

17 12 2010

HERE’S A GOOD ONE, CAUSE YOU NEVA’ KNOW

Every year my daughters, Dayna and Jackie, spend Thanksgiving with me and the King, and Christmas in upstate New York.  They are fantastic sous chefs btw.  At first I resented this, I’ll say for a couple of years probably then I decided to let it go.  Bear hugs kettle.   You see they have a younger brother and sister, Cullen the magnificent and Joselyn someday to be magnificent.  It’s so much fun to be around little kids on Christmas and both of the little kids are 10 years younger than my girls.  So it was great for them all to be together for Christmas even though I felt sad and mad, I did let it go and I was able to truly be happy for all of them.

Now guess what, I was thinking today “O man it’s how many days till X-mas, holy crap, really,” and then thinking I’m not going to see my girls on Christmas and instantly realized, hey I haven’t spent Christmas with the girls in like 11 years.  Hooray!  So today I am filled to the brim with gratitude that I let go of that resentment.  Really a gift I am bursting with gratitude.  Gratitude attack, I love those!  I know it is making the separation from my kids softer and easier because I did the hard work and now I got the payoff.  Thank you Father for the MKMMA.

CHANC OF A LIFETIME

Emerson’s Law is working in our lives so much, everyday there is new and exciting example of give more, get more.  Here is a particular one I loved.  Mark has made lots of friends on the island, as you can imagine, and 1 particular guy Chanc is just fantastic.  Chanc is a surfer, hunter, spear fisherman just to name a few of his attributes, and come to find out a great chef too.  Chelsea, Mark’s darling daughter, decided to do Chanc a solid and he was so excited and happy he offered to come over and make us dinner.  He told us he had just caught a fantastic tuna off Kauai and we were getting some!!!  YUMMY!  I love Ahi!

So I figure Chanc, 26 year old surfer, is just going to show up with a bag of tuna and we better be ready with some salad or something.  Boy was I wrong, sometimes it’s so great to be wrong, I have to remember that.  So Mr. Chanc fixed us a friggin gourmet dinner. The works he took care of everything AND cleaned up.  No kidding, so excellent.  He made this amazing wild rice pilaf with a lemon thyme sauce & roasted almonds, yummy, wilted spanish and the most delicious piece of tuna I have ever eaten.  I have had the privilege of eating a lot to tuna in some of the best restaurants in the US and this was THE BEST!!!  Thanks Emerson and mostly thanks Chanc.

Blessings and Believe,

Davene

Watch Chanc’s technique.





Sometimes It’s Hard To Be Happy – Week 11

11 12 2010

I’M REALLY HAPPY

It’s hard to work, and think, and stay in my routine and it’s hard not to be just so super happy that Chelsea and Tommy are here.  Well Chelsea anyway. LOL

So they got here and it was a beautiful day, as usual, and the next day it starts just pouring.  Monsoon type rain, flash flood warnings.  This is a desert there no floods here.  It’s was crazy and amazing and beautiful.  BUT and there a big but.  When it’s raining like that having a dog is a pain in the butt.  Tommy can’t stay out cause it’s pouring and when he has to do his business someone has to get soaked and so does Tommy.  I DO NOT like wet dogs in my house.   So it figures that it would pour in the dessert for 2 days just when Mr. Tommy gets here.  God gives me so many opportunities to be patient and become a better person.   I’m extremely grateful and it has NOT been hard to be happy even though there is wet, smelly dog in my house.

 

IT’S HARD TO BE HAPPY

Sometime yesterday after the initial glee of having Chelsea here had worn of just a little it started to hit me how much I miss my girls.  How deeply sad I am and how much I miss them.  And it started to get hard to be happy.  Every little thing Mark did rubbed me the wrong way.  I was so super sensitive.  There’s sensitive, you know, the moody PMSie stuff and I know menopause, hot flashes the whole deal but this is different it was like when you have a cavity and you drink something really cold that sharp pain and weird sensation.  That’s how I was.  And it was really, really important to me that Chelsea not think that I am not thrilled she is here or that she somehow triggered this sadness in me.  That was essential so I am putting on this brave face yesterday.  I don’t think Tommy cared as long as he gets his treat from me.

Just before I left to move here I freaked out.  I was talking to Mark and this panic came over me, what the hell am I doing.  My kids are 19 and 21 and I am leaving them.  I am a horrible mother.  Fortunately I am married to a genius, the greatest husband ever.  Really he is the best ever, he knew exactly, from 6000 miles away, exactly what to say to talk me down.  He said to me, and I am not kidding, “I have been waiting for this and I have it all laid it out in 3 parts”.  Really, wtf, he knew I was going to go down this road and he was ready with his f’ing 3 pronged strategy to put me back on track.  Who does that?  He’s really amazing.  Anyway he told me, and he’s right, this is the best thing I could possible do for my kids.  Not only show them they can live their dreams by living my but also (I will deny this) I am slightly co-dependant with my girls.  Mark will say incredibly co-dependant, over protective, I still think they are 7 and 9, and I am not letting them grow up.  Guess who’s right.  Yes, they need me out of their lives so they can grow and become responsible, healthy, high functioning adults.   I need to be 6000 miles away so I am not constantly butting my nose into their lives.

Yesterday it was really hard to be happy, but I was happy and I know I’ll go through days here and there till I see my kids again when it’s hard to be happy.  And best of all because I a loyal to my Master Key Master Mind Alliance (most of the time) they ARE here with me.   I see them everyday here with us.  Laughing, loving, having wonderful lives.  Everyday I see that and they are already here and that is such a gift.  I know, that I know, that I know that they are here with me and our family is together.  NOW.  This keeps me going, striving to do better, it drives me to be the best that I can.  To do my best.  I have a definite major backed by a burning desire and I know what it is and I am uncalculatably grateful.  Grateful for the material and grateful that I did and continue to do the work.  If not for these teachings and this course we wouldn’t be here, Chelsea wouldn’t be here and, God bless him, neither would “The Biscuit” aka Tommy.

Blessings & Believe,

Davene





Must Love Dogs – Week 10

5 12 2010

I’m NOT a dog person.  I love dogs, I appreciate dogs, from a distance.  I watch Westminster every year and I know the breeds pretty well and I think they are wonderful animals.  The Dog Whisper is a great show, I love Ceasar.  I cry when these people learn how to love their dogs and take care of them.

I had a dog when I was a kid, Hercules, a Samoyed mix.  White hair on everything.  I never got attached to him I think because I lost my first pet, Bob Brid, who was eaten by the family cat and I never really got attached to any animal again.

Dogs are messy and I am not a messy person.  My kids pick on me because I am too clean and a little fanitical about housework.  I would never have gotten another dog, NEVER, but then I married a dog lover.  A REAL dog lover.

When I met Mark he didn’t have any dogs.  A year or so after we met he got 2 dogs.  I thought he was crazy.  2 big hairy, smelly, messy  English Setters, Panama and Chiefy, yes beautiful animals but talk about messy.  Slobber puss both of them.  We weren’t dating or anything at the time but we did work together alot and I was at his house often with those 2.  Then if you can imagine it he got another English Setter, Tommy!  Now I knew he was nuts.  Three big, hairy, smelly, messy dogs.  OMGOSH really?  Mark never seemed to notice the yucky part of dogs.  He just loved those dogs and they loved him.  He always said I just didn’t get it about the dogs.  He was right.

These are amazingly beautiful dogs, Panama and Chief both best in show types.  Chief was a champion and a sweetheart but not for me.  He didn’t get them as puppies and a few years later Chiefy died that was sad because he was the best one.  Now he was down to 2 dogs when I moved in with my girls.

Why do I tell you all this?   Well Tommy will be here in a few days and I am back to being a dog owner and it got me thinking.

Having dogs when you don’t want them is kinda like learning the Master Key System.  There are amazing lessons if you just stick with it.  If you don’t give up on it or yourself, if you just don’t do the ‘start and don’t fininsh thing, AGAIN’.

I have learned so much from living with these dogs.  If you know anything about English Setters you know they are very slobbery, especially when they eat and drink.  Mark would have the dogs in the bedroom at night and they would drink from the bowls and make a big mess on the floor right in my path to the bedroom door.  I would have to walk through it every morning.  I would get so mad, and Mark said one day, “Why don’t you just move the bowls?”   Huh, move the bowls, why didn’t I think of that?   Then he can walk through the messy wet floor.  Well if I move the bowls then I don’t have my resentment anymore.  Did I want that resentment?   Yep I think I did.  Now,today, I know that I was addicted to the feelings and resentments of having dogs I didn’t want.  That lesson started a whole chain reaction of all kinds of lessons for me.

Hey if you don’t like something why don’t YOU do something about it.  This was huge for me because I just let things that bother me go and I don’t say anything.  I still do it but nothing compared to before the ‘why don’t you just move the bowls’ lesson.

This lesson taught me to take PERSONAL RESPONSIBILITY for my feelings and reactions.  When I don’t like something that’s going on I have a choice to either deal with it WITHOUT holding resentment or do something about it.  Practically nobody I know acts the way I want them too so this is a great lesson for me.  Thanks Panny and Tommy.

Here comes Tommy in a few day, he is the messiest of them all, he was the hardest one for me to deal with because he is just a ball of love and it feels yucky to be mad at him for just being a dog.  Being who he is.  But you know what Tommy loves me no matter what I do.  If I yell at him or make him stay in his crate or don’t let him run and jump in the house or the many, many things I don’t let Tommy do, he still loves me.  The lesson for me is BE LIKE TOMMY.  WHAT!  That’s right because no matter how much of an A-hole I am Tommy loves me.  I remember to be like him and when someone is pissing me off or being a jerk I learned from this dog to just love them.  Tommy only sees the divine in me.  This dog, the bain of my housekeeping existence, is my idol.  What a gift that I want to be like Tommy.  I think I will be more messy when I eat.





Pearls Before Swine

28 11 2010

1 down 1 to go.  Holidays I mean, these are the big 2 and we all know it.  The other ones are just window dressing.  You have to do these 2.  Thanksgiving and Christmas, right.   Thanksgiving is for all of us, Americans anyway, and Christmas has taken over our world it seems right after Halloween.  So 1 down 1 to go.

This year was very different for me since going from the east coast to Hawaii.  A lady at the farmers market, she is from New York, said they don’t know how to cook Thanksgiving here.  I thought that was funny.  I’ll tell you what else they don’t know how to do, be nuts before a holiday.

We decided to keep it low key, it’s just the three of us after all.  So we went out on WEDNESDAY, that’s right the day before Thanksgiving to shop.  No frantic, crazy people trying to get their turkey and cranberry sauce, sure it was busier that usual but that stressed out, franitic energy was just not there.  I was so pleasant.

For my whole life I have let the stressed out world of the Northeast affect me on holidays never giving them their due.  Let’s be grateful – a whole holiday, one whole day to be grateful.  How about everyday.  All day everyday.

If you have not guessed by now I think holidays are stupid.  And the graddaddy of them all in right on my doorstep.  The biggest rip off in the history of retail.  This is bullcrap!  Going out and spending hundreds and thousands of dollars because this supposed to be the day that Christ was born.  WFT – it’s bullcrap!  But I don’t need to go there.  Nothing personal of you love X-Mas.  I love people who love Christmas.  My husband loves Christmas – And I kid you NOT – he still believes in Santa Clause.  And keep your trap shut around him.  I can’t let him around to many 9 and 10 year olds that are figuring out that they have been lied to for their whole lives and I don’t want him to find out too.

The reason holidays get me going is it seems we give them more that they deserve.  Why do we go so overboard, I couldn’t believe the crazy shoppers on “Black Friday”.   Ya, it must be the bad economy.  That’s why there out throwing their credit card a the clerks.  What is that, there is no way on God’s green earth I would be caught dead in a mall on that day.  I just don’t understand.  Why?  Can someone tell me why we put so much money and effort and emotional energy into the days.   And then let’s complain about our credit card debt.

I don’t want any presents, I mean it.  I know people say “Oh don’t get me anything.” But what they really mean is I want a really nice gift from you.   I really don’t want anything safe your money put it in the bank.  This is the only country that has negative savings.  Or if you insist all of you who love me pool your resources, everyone throw in $20, and get me something I really want.  Like a new bike.  That’s not a hint either.  Put your money back in your wallet.  Don’t waste your money.  Sorry I know this is harsh and people love to give.  OK then give me some love and understand.  I take that.  Especially when I am being a jerk, which happens alot more that I ever thought it would, the change of life I guess.

Give me your prayers and good wishes.  Imagine if we all just prayed for each other on Christmas.  That would be awesome!

 





If You Don’t Think You Can Change The World, You’re Right

19 11 2010

Has someone ever told you something about yourself, and you thought, or said, “No, I don’t do that” or  “I’m not like that.”

Sugar Mill in Kekaha

That happened to me yesterday and I was so shocked.  I know it’s happened before in my past but I never really thought about it.  There I go not thinking again.  Anyway for the last 3 days it has been raining here, not just raining, like this amazing downpour rain.  Also thunder and lightning – it’s been just awesome.  Since we live on an ocean front desert there isn’t alot of rain.  Just 12 inches a year although only a few miles away is literally the wettest spot on the earth 445 inches or rain a year!  It’s really very cool and very spiritual somehow.

Kokee Lookout

The reason the weather is such a fun, exciting, interesting thing is because where I come from, my whole entire life, the weather was a constant source of complaints.  Everybody complains about the weather in New England and why not it’s not really that great.  There is even this old saying, “If you don’t like the weather in New England wait a minute.”   The other old saying is “there are 2 season in New England, winter and August”.  You only get a few truly fantastic days in the year.

So I grew up in this environment.  Steeped in complaining  If it’s not the weather it’s the roads or the bad drivers or the Red Sox or whatever.  It’s like Rosanne Rosanna Danna’s mother always used to say, ” It’s always something,”  So that’s why I was so surprised when Mark said to me yesterday, “You don’t complain.”  This really shocked me, I said, “Yes I do. I complain all the time.”  He just shock his head.

I was relating a story to him about someone who complains all the time and I said, “I mean, I know I complain too but this is really constant complaining.”  And then he told me that I don’t  complain and I was like what’s wrong with this guy, does he see me through rose-colored glasses, for crying outloud he announces to the whole world that I am fabulous all the time.  I am starting to think he really believes it.  🙂  This starts me thinking.  (I always think way more during the MKMMA classes, it’s such a good thing.)   So I think about this, why does he think I don’t complain.  So I ask my kids what do they think.  Same reaction, “Mom you never complain”, my oldest thinks I should complain more!!!   Ok, I’m really thinking WTF is going on, who is this person I am looking back at from the glass.  And it comes to me, you know what – I am complaining, all the time, except it’s inside my friggin head.

Holy Crap!  I realize that all this negative complaining is going on alot but I just don’t actually say anything outloud.  Oh my gosh, I am telling you I am blown away by this, and even though I have been on the wacky, wonderful mental diet I didn’t see this behavior as negative.  I was just ruminating in my head about the things that hurt me, the sciatic, the lower back, the shoulder, a headache, all this work I have, my husband’s annoying habits (not bad, he’s a joy), the computer running to slow, my battery dying on my phone, the sandy, muddy footprints from all the rain that I am going to have to clean up, the trash not taken out, on and on and on.

My only explanation is that because these things only effected me I didn’t say them out loud and in turn that it isn’t negative thinking.  About that I’m not even really sure.  I didn’t see these constant little, tiny, internal complaints as negative.  But they are and just because I am not trash talking someone or overtly being negative about a situation doesn’t mean it’s OK.   ETERNAL VIGILANCE.  Every moment of everyday forever I have to be on guard not to let anything, nothing, not one single negative thought into my subconscious.

This truly explains the poverty in the world, not just financial but spiritual, health poverty.  Why aren’t we taught how important, so vitally important our thinking is.  There are skills taught for everything else under the sun from needle point to networking marketing.  I am/was conforming to the thought processes that has always been a part of me because no one gave me the skills of thinking.  Not anymore.  I’m on the case!

Let’s spread the word far and wide and effect change everywhere and with everyone we can.  Shout from the roof, we need to learn how to think for ourselves the right way.  Let’s use little Rachael Carbo as an inspiration to change the world.  Let’s teach every little child how to think correctly and that way change the world.

I mean this is what we are trying to do here, with the class.  I know we are offering really generous compensation, but really what is the reward here.  We teach you some stuff, some great stuff, we show you how to expose other people to it  and then you decide whether or not you want to share it, once you have experienced it.  But really what are we doing here, we ARE changing the world.  Maybe it’s only 1 family, or 1 sweet, precious little girl at time but what does that matter.  An ant can eat a lion one bite at a time.

I believe it’s an honor to be able to present the course to anyone, we are lucky to have it and share it – we aren’t the only ones who get blessed by it.  Just imagine the change we can effect.

Blessings & Believe,

Davene





Did You Ever Have One of Those Days? MKMMA Week 6

6 11 2010

OR DID YOU EVER HAVE ONE THOSE YEARS?

While reading an email from 1 concerned member of the Master Key Master Mind Alliance (nothing to be concerned about btw) I was flooded with negative, mucky, yucky anger and resentment.  Fortunatly I have lots of techniques now and tools to help me through these waters.  For this am so “greatful”.  So I’m reading this email thinking some people are just so sad.  And I get really, really mad.  So in like 13 seconds all this stuff goes through my mind and I came to the conclusion that this is my blog today.

First I must relate this day and the forces within me that lead to eventually reading the above mentioned email.  It started pretty well.  Did my reading, meditation was feeling pretty good.  Could be doing better with exercise, eating and water  but not too bad.

Then bam it starts.  This guy calls and needs help and I can’t help him, he didn’t follow up and I know he blames it on me, and it was kinda my fault but he’s mad and I feel responsible, sorry.  I really though he was on it.  So I feel bad.

Then simultaneously (literally simultaneously because he was on the cell and I was also on skype) I am talking to my step daughter everything is going good, but I mention that I placed the ad for her car.  We get around to the fact that I priced it wrong.  Well, I DON’T think the price is wrong but she does and that is what matters.  She starts saying, “Why are you doing this to me? Why are you doing this to me?”  OMGosh I gotta tell you that stabbed me in the heart.   Now I know she doesn’t mean that literally.   She is just freaked out about uprooting her whole, entire life and moving here.   I just did that so I get the stress.  I tell her I can fix it, but she is mad I can tell and I feel so bad.   The last thing I want to do is make this harder for her.  I felt so so bad.  Now there 2 people I messed up today.  Ayou!

As I am thinking about these 2 mistakes and feeling bad about it the next moment I get a text from my oldest daughter Dayna.  Dayna is my heart.  She tells me that due to circumstances we can’t control she won’t be here for at least another 7 months.  Well then I lose my shit (as my kids say).  I just crumbled into a puddle.  My baby, OH MY GOSH, I’m not going to see her for how long.  This I can’t take.  I am junk and I start thinking about this long, long year.  And then a flood of tears and everything comes down on me I just start thinking about everything that has happend in the last year.

Now just 1 short year ago we were moving out of our 2 family home in Haverhill.  That was sad and that was happy.  As anybody who has move, after living in one place a long time, you know that was a nightmare.  No, really, it sucked really bad.  Then we’re in this little rental at Seabrook Beach (yuck).  My view is the Nuclear Power Plant.  All my stuffs in storage and now what?  I’ll tell you what.  Now get ready to move 6000 miles away, with your blind, deaf, grumpy mother-in-law.  Then Dayna moves out, then how do we get the dog over there, then this, then that, then the other thing.   Just one crazy thing after the other and never a minute to get used to it.  It’s all a stress filled blur that I am reliving this morning.

Then the email – I figured well I am going to try to help someone else.  I do my best to get into service to others and I am going to finish reading the press releases and adding everyone to Mark’s blog.  And I read this email.  I believe, and I could be wrong.  But I believe that people who don’t take responsiblity for their own lives are mean to people who do.  So this email says something that I thought was so stupid.  We’ll put it in the catagory of the same people who, when I told them I was moving to Hawaii, they said, “Isn’t it expensive to live there.”  Imagine this really naggy, high pitched voice, “Isn’t it expensive to live there.”  Blah, Blah, Blah.  Bite me.  Just closed, small minded and probably jealous people.

So I get so mad and I’m thinking all I want to do is help someone and I get this email and it makes me so mad and all this junk is happening today, (btw my kitchen sink doesn’t work and I can’t do dishes so I can’t cook, just pile it on AND I thought it was Thursday not Friday!!!)  – what am I supposed to do here.  Feel sorry for myself, well that’s easy I am already doing that.  No, I think what is the message, the lesson where is it, I start thinking how is this an opportunity?  Thanks MKMMA.  And it hit me. I realize, it was like a bolt of lightening, I saw a flash.  That happens sometimes when I get out of my own way.  You have to blog today (Again, totally thought it was Thursday).  Write about it.  Let all the MKMMAers now before some A-hole takes a crap on their dreams.

You may already know this but pay attention anyway.  It’s really important to let you know, in case you don’t already, that when you go for your dreams, when you start changing your mind, when you start making choices that bring you closer to your dreams and goals there are going to be people out there who try to drag you back down.  It’s the crab story.  They don’t mean to be mean and small, mostly they don’t even know.  But the will try.  If you change, if you get better, others are forced to look at the fact that they are not.  And some of them will hate you for it and be really, really mean.  It’s right in “Think and Grow Rich”  most people fail because they listen to well meaning friends and family.  Read that again is astonishing, but it’s true.

You know who they are.  Some will shock you, some won’t.  Don’t listen.  You know your own heart they don’t.  Dream stealers Mark used to call them, it was so hard for me to believe that people would do that, but they do.  All the time.

Here I take a risk.  Sometimes you are sleeping next to them.  Or they are at the dinner table or you have to be in the same room with them, often.  It’s rough, I know I did that and I still have to today.  But my mind is the only one that matters.  I choose what I think about.  I choose my own destiny.  AND it’s important that we don’t think negatively about them.  We bless them, we pray for their happiness and that they find their bliss too!  That’s the hard part if you ask me.  Everything I let go of has nail marks on it.

Just wanted to let you know, it’s my revenge.   It’s my way of letting go of the person that I DON’T EVEN KNOW AND WILL PROBABLY NEVER MEET.  As long as I hold on to being angry at those “dream stealers” I am blocking my own bliss.  God Bless Them.  So I hope this helps me and you.

blessings and believe,

Davene





Holy Guacamole That Hurts!!! – MKMMA Week 5

27 10 2010

THEY CALL IT A MIRACLE

Nineteen years ago today, October 26th 1991, the day of The Perfect Storm, I was screaming and writhing in pain at Salem Hospital in Salem, Massachusetts.  Salem is the witch city and I was giving birth to a little witch.   Although I didn’t know at the time that she would be such a witch.  Well she isn’t that bad.  No, I’m just being politically correct she a witch.  What do you expect from a gorgeous, talented, knockout 19-year-old who was born on the same day as The Perfect Storm.

So I don’t lose the guys here I put in a picture of Jackie AND this is not about childbirth.  If you have kids or any of your friends or relatives have kids you have heard all the horror stories.  597 hours of labor, all the screaming and name calling.  Really it’s not that bad, that’s what I tell all pregnant woman, don’t worry….ya it hurts, it hurts alot, but you’ll be fine.

Just got off the phone with the little witch, Jackie, to have our happy birthday phone call, she moved in with her father when she was 13 (witch) so we usually have the birthday phone call, and it got me to thinking.

As I sit here today 19 years after having give birth to my last child I do recall the pain of birth, and it was painful but it was so great when it was over and I was on the other side. Can one explain the amazing experience of having children?  No.  It’s to big but it’s totally worth a few hours of pain.

BIRTH IS PAINFUL? Sometimes.

The Master Key Master Mind Alliance reminds me of the process of having a child and that’s what came to me after my conversation.  No one can explain the amazing experience of the MKMMA.  You just can’t explain it.  You gotta do it yourself to know.

We start this process and it really exciting and fun, like making a baby.  A little while in we start to get really sick and scared, 1st trimester.  Then it seems kind of OK.  I’m getting it or at least I think I am.  Then we’re really fat, ugly and freaking out.  Metaphorically of course I don’t want to offend, just how I was felling at the time.  So now that we have been living with this weight, this anticipation of something awesome happening here comes the pain.  Maybe, maybe not.  It’s different for everyone for me it feels sometimes like I’m the baby sometimes the mom.  Maybe you got to squeeze thur some little hold half the size of your head.  Maybe you’re already half way thur and it’s just a little push.  Sometimes it hurts so bad you gotta have the spinal thing.  Sometimes the pain is not so bad and you can take it.   For me it’s been painful and wonderous just like my Jackie.

You become someone different when you’re on the other side.  It’s work, you have doubts, you think you’re doing it wrong.  Holy Guacamole how the heck am I going to do this every single day for 26 weeks!!!!  That was what I thought many times during the course the 1st time thru.  For myself and for the students.  Then it just becomes part of you.  You miss it when it’s not there.  You become protective and don’t let anybody mess with your sacred time.  You nurture, help it grow.

It’s so great to be on the other side, will there be more pain, maybe, maybe.  But Man-O-Man all the joy, peace, gratitude, power.  It’s fantastic.  It’s totally worth the 168 hours of labor.  That’s only 1 week can you believe it?  I would have gladly given up one week of my life for my Jackster.  One week to change everything.  Totally worth it.

blessings and believe,

Davene








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